North to South
by Dragons-Be-Here
Summary: You're fifteen when your heart breaks.


A/N: Re-reading Eyeshield 21 hs gotten me back in the fanfiction mood, and this came about.

* * *

You're fifteen when your heart breaks.

You're fifteen when you see her kissing him, when he kisses her back and holds her close. You knew there was something between them but you just didn't want to admit it.

You've spent months trying to work up the courage to tell him how you feel but you never did, and when you see them kissing you turn and walk way.

You've always been a coward.

He was the one who gave you strength. He was the one that made you believe and is it any shock that he stole your heart? He gave you Amefuto, friends and a whole new world and you can't help but give him your heart in return.

You walk away, and you don't look back.

* * *

You're fifteen when you lose your virginity.

It's not love and it never will be, but it's mutual respect and trust and that's all you can ask for.

For all his strength Shin is a surprisingly gentle lover, and he holds you close when you cry out. He doesn't say much, but all his attention is on you and you feel helpless under the weight of it.

He's the only one you trust to see you like this, because he is your rival and your friend and he understands. He doesn't ask more of you and doesn't expect you to either.

It's good, and it happens again and again, just the two of you. Always on a bed, at his place or yours because you're not announcing it to the world but you're not a dirty little secret.

People know, and you get gentle natured teasing from your team but no one seems to mind. They treat you like they always have, and you're thankful for that.

_He_ doesn't even seem to care.

* * *

You're sixteen when you break up.

You don't deny him this, because like he never mentions that you sometimes call out another name in bed, you don't mention that he does too.

You just smile at him, and give him one last kiss. You tell him to be happy and fight for what he wants.

He gives you one of his rare smiles and promises to do so, and you feel genuinely happy.

Just because you're broken-hearted doesn't mean he has to be too.

When a month later he tells you the Sakuraba agreed to go out with him, you congratulate him and hug him and he whispers a thank you in your ear.

You're a coward, but you seem to inspire courage in others.

* * *

You're sixteen when Kakei Shun comes to you, and you don't turn him away.

You warn him that you don't know if you're ready to love again, but he just smiles and kisses the back of your hand and tells you he'll do his best to mend your heart.

You go on dates, and he texts and calls you at random times. He gives you gifts and for the first time since your heart broke you feel lighter. You have fun with him, and it's very different to what you had with Shin.

You've been dating for two months when you have sex for the first time, and unlike with Shin its loud and messy and you find yourself laughing and he laughs with you. It's amazing, and afterwards you curl up together and he holds you close and it feels right.

He tells you he loves you, and your breathe catches in your throat because a warmth is filling you up and you've never felt like this for anyone but _him_.

You can't say it back, but you find yourself turning to lie facing him. You look him in the eyes and after a moment you smile softly, and raise a hand to move his hair from his face.

You tell him you think you might be falling for him and his whole face lights up, those amazing eyes full of love.

He kisses you, and tells you that he will wait as long as it takes, and he will always be there for you.

You believe him.

* * *

You're seventeen when they break up.

It's loud, but strangely amicable, and afterwards it's like nothing has changed. For a moment you think that this is it, that you can tell _him_, but then you realize you don't want to.

You think of the necklace you're wearing, a pair of dog tags that have both your names and the kanji for love engraved on them. You think of the date you're going on this weekend, of the texts in your phone and the sex you had last week. You think of the bruises on your hips and the way he smiles at you and you know you don't want to give this up.

When you end up alone in the clubhouse with him, you stare at him a moment then ask aloud if he's going to give Musashi a chance now.

He stares at you in surprise and you feel a little swell of pride that you've managed to get one up one him.

You've seen the way Musashi looks at him, the way you used to and you find yourself hoping that he will. They'd make a good pair, and you know they would be happy together.

He seems to be thinking about something now and you would bet that he's going back over everything to try and see what you see. You know it clicks when a small smile, more of a smirk curves his lips and you'll bet anything that something will happen between them now.

You smile, and step over him to give him a kiss on the cheek and he stares at you again. You just shake your head and go to leave.

You stop at the door when he speaks, a strange note in his voice as he asked you how you knew.

You turn your head to look at him and tell him that Musashi looks at him the way you used to. He looks shocked again, and you just smile. You tell him he was your first love, and you reach up to grip the dog tags through you shirt. His eyes drop to them, and you know he knows what they are. You stay in silence for a little longer, before you move to leave again.

As you open the door you thank him over your shoulder, because even if he doesn't realize it he's the reason you are the person you are today and you owe him so much.

* * *

You're seventeen when you call up Shun and ask him to meet up.

When he shows up at your house you can tell he's worried. You know he's heard that they broke up, and he knows by now who broke your heart even if they didn't mean to. You let him inside, grateful that you parents aren't home and when he sits on the couch you sit in his lap.

You look him in the eyes, because he has to see it, he has to understand you're being completely truthful.

For the first time, you tell him you love him.

He looks stunned for a moment, then his face changes until all you can see is happiness. He holds you tight and you feel wetness against your neck where he's pressing his face and you just smile and don't say anything.

He pulls back and kisses you with so much passion your lips are bruised when he pulls away.

He tells you he thought you might go to _him_, and he was so afraid he was going to lose you.

You just kiss him softly and tell him that you never forget your first love, but he's the one who holds your heart now. He's the one who repaired it, after all.

He lifts you up and you cling to him as he carries you up the stairs. You don't make it to the bed however, and he takes you against the wall of your bedroom, and you tell him that the fact that he is so much taller than you is exciting. He grins and kisses you.

It's fun, and you're young and in love and everything seems amazing again.

You dig your heels into his back and bite his shoulder, and when you pulled back there is a teasing grin on your face and he laughs and kisses you again.

You're so thankful you gave him a chance.


End file.
